In the Middle of the Struggle

For the past few months, I’ve taken you on a journey of grief, struggle, joy, and hope.  I’ve shared my desperate ache at the loss of my daughter, Makenzie and I’ve tried to explain what pain and gain feel like as they stroll, arm in arm, through my emotional hallway.  Sometimes, I’ve been successful; Other [...]

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That Family

Last weekend, Kellie and I were surrogate parents at Iowa State’s parent weekend for Alex, the young man Makenzie took to prom in March.  (His mom and dad were out of town).   We went to the football game, toured the sprawling campus, and met several of Alex’s friends.  It was loads of fun.
During our time, [...]

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The Makenzie Blog

Friends,
I’m am so proud to introduce you to a new blog that gives insights into “Makenzie Stories” written by one of her best friends, Katie Davis!
The stories you’ll find on her blog will give you a deeper insight into the incredible woman Makenzie was and how she impacted everyone who knew her and who knew [...]

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Feeling Guilty For Not Feeling Guilty

I think I have issues.  You see, I’ve always been a light-hearted person.  More or less, I’ve had a positive view of life; a silver-lining vs. cloud-encompassing mentality.  After Makenzie went home to be with Jesus a few months ago, I wasn’t sure if there would be any residue of my joy intact.  These days, [...]

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Not Shaken

Already, my thoughts are turbulent.  As the sun bubbled up over the horizon and spilled out onto this morning’s canvas, feelings of uncertainty, sadness and loss battled for control of my emotions.  Thankfully, God brought to mind the lyrics to a song that we sang at church this past Sunday.
You’re Not Shaken –  Phil Stacey
I am [...]

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Tears For No Reason

In the past, my tears partnered with a specific event; I hit my finger with a hammer – tears; I watched the end of  “It’s a Wonderful Life” – tears; I witnessed the Minnesota Gophers throw away an opportunity to knock off Cal – tears.  Yesterday was different.  My tears trailed down my 40+ year [...]

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My Happy Birthday

Birthdays come and birthdays go.  Some I celebrate; others are swallowed up by the busyness of life.  Today is one of the latter for me and that’s fine.  It is one of the many “first’s without …” that I’ll experience over the next years as I continue my journey into the new normal.
As I was [...]

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Makenzie’s Web

A friend of ours was pondering the amount of people that Makenzie’s life affected.  Realizing that the number was in the thousands, she said, “Makenzie had a web of influence that was beautiful and reached around the world.  It’s Makenzie’s Web.”
It reminded me of the delightful exchange between the spider, Charlotte, and the pig, Wilbur, [...]

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Surprised

Over the past few months, I’ve learned that people grieve the death of someone close the same but different.  What I mean is there are natural human patterns or non-linear stages of grief that people experience:  Denial, Anger, Bitterness, Depression, and Acceptance.  I’ve cycled through most of these several times after Makenzie went home to [...]

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Family Reunion

Family reunion
All of us were stunned when we learned of the story of Jaycee Duggard.  For those of you who didn’t hear this story, Jaycee was abducted at the age of 11 and lived for 18 years in captivity by a man who, by all regards, is the personification of evil.  Recently, investigators discovered the [...]

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