First-Withouts – Birthday Without Makenzie

Makenzie on her last birthday (18 years old)

A handful of days ago, Kellie and I were privileged to share Makenzie’s story at the Woodbury Area Prayer Breakfast.  Among the 700 people were Bill and Zoe Hyland whose high school aged son, Braedon, was killed in a car accident in October of last year.  It was a painful yet beautiful conversation as they, like us, grapple with the new normal.

Bill said that they are going through the “first-withouts” date list.  The “first” Christmas “without” Braedon.  The “first” Spring “without” him.  The list goes on and on for the likes of us.

Today is Makenzie’s birthday.  She would have been 21 years old.  A milestone in the lives of other young adult but not for her.  This is not a “first-without” for us but rather another reminder of her birth and death and birth again.  Another date on the calendar that we cannot escape.  So we choose to lay low today.  We’ll laugh about her laugh – smile about her smile.  We’ll most likely cry as we ponder and remember.  But we’ll also thank Jesus for giving her a list of “first-withouts.”  “First” days in heaven “without” pain, sorrow or suffering.  “First” days in heaven “without” struggle, confusion of boredom.  And, if she were speaking it, “First” days in heaven “without” math!

Love you button nose.  And Happy 21st Birthday.

Peace!

Links to check out:

• MAKENZIE!  Happy Birthday to You!
• BRAEDON HYLAND Foundation
• KELLIE STOCKER Blog

“Please God, Help Her”

It was a small blue car that pulled along side me at a random stoplight next to a railroad crossing sign.  I don’t remember much about its make or year  but I do remember the driver.  She was in her mid-twenties – her brown hair pulled up in a bun with wisps that exploded from the middle like a fourth of July firework. At four in the afternoon, it looked like she had just rolled out of bed.

She was on the phone.  Momentary bursts of anger played out in hitting the stirring wheel, occasionally lifting her left hand – palm up – and briefly hiding an ever increasing tearing with a quick wipe.

I felt sorry for her.  Maybe she was talking to the IRS.  Maybe she was trying to figure out her student loan consolidation.  Most likely, she was trying to verbally glue together the tattered fragments of a once love relationship.

Again, I felt sorry for her.  I wanted to help.  But the time was short.  Green was coming.  So I asked the One I knew could do what I couldn’t.  No big speech of prayer with large churchy words.  I simply said, “Please God, help her.”  That’s what it means to love all people.  If you can’t do anything, ask the One who can.  When the light changed, she went right, I went left.  But neither of us went alone.  In the midst of our deepest hurt, the One is always there.

So maybe you are the girl in the blue car.  Maybe you are the one I saw yesterday at the stop sign of hope and pain.  If you are, just remember that there are people whom you don’t know, who love you and pray for you.

Now, my light is green.

Peace!

Love Covers

Today, Twin Cities dwellers woke up to something beautiful. We looked out our kitchen windows and front doors to see our frozen garden gnomes and mailboxes frosted  with a thin white blanket of snow.  The brown deadness is hidden.  The dirty sidewalks are gone.  In their places is a fresh new look and a chance to begin again.

Isn’t that what love does?  Love forgives the deadness.  Love covers the ugly.  Love makes things new and says, “Let’s start again.”  On this Valentine’s day, I’m glad that God gave me a white valentine in which he writes, “I’ve got it covered.”  (1 Peter).

Peace,

My new website:

Be QUIET!

There is a Starbucks coffee shop on the boardwalk in Kemah, TX.  If you’ve been there, you can picture it resting in the shadow of the mighty roller coaster.  When there, I loved being the first one to grab my early morning Joe and take a slow – very slow – walk around the pier and pathways that encompassed the amusement rides.  Sometimes, I’d meet my friend Sam Brown but mostly I would notice the rides.  That early, they were quiet.  No roar of the steel tracked kiddie cars.  No hum of the carousel.  No churning of the “Vominator” as I call it.  Simply the few workers who were testing, cleaning and inspecting every hinge that would keep the riders safe.

Solitude is not a luxury but a necessity.  God set up the cosmos for the ebb and flow of activity and quiet.  Yet, we fight against the value of being still.  We wield the sword of our schedules against the rejuvenating, calming and refreshing time of inspecting and fine-tuning our lives.

Why is that?

This morning, as is my custom, I woke up before my household, keuriged my coffee and spent time in prayer, calm and thought.  I am ready for the riders of my day.  I am set for the bustle of the crowds of my schedule.  And all it takes is a few extra moments in the quiet of His presence.

Peace,

My new website:

Making the Impossible Possible

I can easily get overwhelmed with all of the ideas that pop into my head.  Without prioritizing and setting goals, accomplishing even a fraction of them would be impossible.

The habit of setting Goals is so important.  Earl Nightingale said, “People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going.” Do you know where you’re going?  Are there projects or milestones that you’d like to conquer this new year?  Knowing how to set goals can help 2012 be one of the best years of your life.

To review from last weeks post, here is a seven step way to set goals:
1 – Decide what you want.
2 – Write it down.
3 – Set a deadline.
4 – Brainstorm a list of everything you can think of that you could do to accomplish this.
5 – Organize the list by sequence and priority.
6 – Do something.
7 – Do something everyday.

Now, list 10 goals for this year and ask yourself, “If I could only achieve one goal, which one would have the greatest impact on my life?”  Once you’ve answered that, focus on that one with high intensity.  You can still work on the other goals, but keep the number one the number one.

For me, I have goals in 7 areas of life:  FINANCE, HEALTH, PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT, FAMILY, SPIRITUAL, SOCIAL, and CAREER. Not all of them are drastic.  Some of them are crucial.  Taking the above process, here’s how I’m working on one of my goals:

One of my important goals is to finish a long-awaited book project called, “Refined – Turning Pain into Purpose.” Using Brian Tracy’s 7 steps, here’s how it’s all working out:

1 – Decide what you want. – I want to complete “Refined – Turning Pain into Purpose.”
2 – Write it down. – I have a goal worksheet that I use on which this project is listed.
3 – Set a deadline. – Publishing date:  March 30.
4 – Brainstorm a list of everything you can think of that you could do to accomplish this. – Actually, I’ve brainstormed how to keep distractions at bay which frees me up to finish the project.
5 – Organize the list by sequence and priority. – I’m writing chapter by chapter and then editing.  Chapter completion dates: I have 5 chapters left to write so my dates are.  Jan 13, 20, 27, Feb 3, 10.  Editing process completed by Feb. 24. Pre-publishing completed by Mar. 24.
6 – Do something. – 5:30 – 7 am is my daily writing time with some late after noons if possible.
7 – Do something everyday.

Let me know if this is helpful!

Peace!

(BTW, If you’d like me to email you when “Refined” is available, email me here.)

A New Day

We had dinner last night with a couple who lost their 16 year old son recently.  The words they shared, their experience dealing with this kind of loss and their example of faithfulness and love were no less than inspiring.  One of the most helpful discussions we had was the concept that every day, we heal a little bit more; ever day, we are strengthened by God.

This morning is a new day for me; a day when a little of the “pre-June 3” motivation is welling up; a day when the Bible verse comes to mind of God’s new mercies…

Lamentations 3:22-24

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him.”

In this new day, I will wait for God to renew me and I will remember that He is faithful and beyond understanding.

todd

Makenzie’s Celebration Service – Click Here