A Different Father’s Day

The best kids in the world
The best kids in the world

This is a different Father’s Day.  In years past, Father’s Day meant cut-out, hand-made cards, breakfast in bed and long morning hugs from my three children.  This year is different.  My kids have outgrown the handmade card artistry, I am awake long before they are wiping the sleep from their  eyes, and the hugs will be a few less. 

As I write this, I can’t embrace what I’m feeling.  (Frankly, I can barely put two sentences together).  Like in a dance, the sense of loss and joy are twirling about the stage.  I literally hurt, wanting to see my little Makenzie again and hear her shout “Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!” like she had done every year since she could talk.  I am so grateful that she gave me, and only me, those words. 

I am so happy that God allows me the daily priveledge of seeing Nathan grow into an incredible man.  I am truly honored that God would give me an incredibly fun young girl in Maddie.  Any dad would call himself blessed to have these two.

This is a different Father’s Day.  I won’t get the kisses from Makenzie.  I wont see her  loving smile as she jumps on me to wake me from my sleep.  And most of you have no idea how desparately I want one more squeeze from her.  But I am reasurred knowing that Makenzie is in the arms of her real daddy.  (BTW — If God slept, she’d be planning to pounce on Him even as I write this). 

Dad’s — hug your kids  extra tight today.  I won’t get to hug Makenzie again for a long time. 


Makenzie’s Celebration Service – Click Here

4 thoughts on “A Different Father’s Day

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  1. Thanks for a terrific blog. I was “led” here from Caitlin’s blog and have really enjoyed reading it. I know that one thing you and Kellie had hoped would come through Makenzie’s passing was for was a deeper understanding / relationship / conversations with /about God..know that is happening…certainly every day here at my house. Thank you. Love and support continues to come to you and your family.

    Thanks again for the blog. Vanessa (Ms. Lynette’s daughter)

  2. Hi Mr. Stocker!,
    I was so bummed when I went over to your house yesterday and found you weren’t there ’cause I so despreatly wanted to give you a hug and yell Happy Father’s Day!!!! I know yesterday was especially hard for you and I only wish that I could have given you a giant hug. I love you like a second father. I will always think of you as my other dad. May your hearts be comforted in this time of sorrow and may God be with you.
    All my love,

  3. Hey Todd (and family) – My heart is aching for you all – especially today. I can’t imagine the hole that the loss of Makenzie has left in your heart. I can only pray for God to continue to shower you with comfort and hugs from others and that you will continue to feel the peace in the hurt.
    I just sent my mom to heaven on June 15th and can’t quite wrap my head around it either. I know it is a different type of loss than losing a child but I too am sooo sad I didn’t hug my mom that last day I saw her or get to the following 5 days she lay in ICU. I can only cling to that beautiful picture too of Jesus holding our loved ones for us. In your grief, you have brought me comfort with your thoughts and feelings.
    I’m sending you all my love and prayers across the miles.
    Nancy Kapernick

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