039: Why People Pleasing Is Dangerous To Good Leadership [Podcast] – Todd Stocker.com

People-Pleaser-Door-Mat-leadershipMost leaders want to serve the best they can.  However, serving others and sacrificing core values, mission and vision is often the result of a people-pleaser mindset.  How do you balance both?


People pleasing is sometimes dangerous to good leadership.

“It’s an emotional trap when you start worrying about what other people think. You don’t have to please everybody any more than you can please everybody. It’s a myth to think that in order to be happy, you must be liked and approved of by everyone you meet.” Rick Warren, Saddleback Church.

Signs you might be a people pleaser from blogger, Jessica Dawson:

  • You crave for compliments. 
  • You want to be noticed.
  • You lie about your opinions.
  • You can never say no.
  • The opinion of others.
  • You sacrifice your own happiness
  • You hate confrontation. (I’ll add – you avoid confrontation. )

So how do you become stronger?  How can you be a servant leader without being a doormat?

  1. Keep the vision in mind.  Why does your organization/business/church exist?  What’s it’s mission?  Do you even know?  
  2. Slow down to make decisions.  Often people will want a snap decision from you and, especially if you’re an I — you’ll make emotional decisions which often are not based on fact. Very rarely do you need to make a decision on the spot.  Slowing down helps you hit a reset button so you can ask the important questions like, “What is the implications if I say yes or no?”  “I’m I making this decision either way because I want to please someone else?”
  3. Say no more than yes.  It helps you focus and clarifies to others what you’re really about.

All in all good leadership is servant leadership.  Your heart should be to serve people but that doesn’t mean that giving everyone everything they want is serving.  


What do YOU think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: