Learning to listen well and ask the right questions are skills that can help you help others discover solutions. This is important, not just for them, but it sets you up as an expert and a ‘go-to’ person that could lead to your own success.
ON THIS EPISODE:
“When I tell, I inform. When I ask, I transform.”
What is life-coaching? First let me tell you what it isn’t.
Coaching is not Counseling.
Counseling dives deep into the psyche of a person and offers guidance in resolving personal, social, or psychological problems. Anger issues. Anxiety problems, marriage counseling. etc…
I’m in favor of counseling…
A Coach is a person who encourages people on matters having to do with careers or personal challenges. Coaching is It’s really what the TBYL podcast is all about. I help you discover your purpose and passion so you can be successful in all you do.
But you don’t have to be a professional life-coach to help other people.
These 2 skills are used when you are in conversation with someone who is trying to figure out a solution to a problem.
1st key skill: Listening.
I’m not going to bore you with all of the aspects of listening but If you could simply develop in what is called ‘non-assumption’ listening, you can really add value to people.
Non-assumption listening means that you don’t assume the direction of the conversation.
The problem is most of us are listening to another person, just waiting for them to finish so that we can interject. Non-assumption listening is simply getting yourself out of the way and allow the conversation to develop and grow as God would have it.
The way you help someone solve a problem is to help them discover the solution. And the way you help them discover a solution, is by asking the right kind of questions without offering a solution you know is right.
Jesus did this all the time. He’d often begin his teaching with “what do you think…
for example… Matthew 21… What do you think? A man had two sons… and Jesus tells the story of the sons working in the vineyard.
When you ask questions, it encourages the other person to process and come to a conclusion that fits them — not you.
Skill #2: Asking Questions
Let’s say a friend tells you the situation and you hear her mention that the pay is a little lower that her current position. Instead of offering your opinion, you say,
“If money weren’t an issue, would you be able to make the decision.”
She says “yes”
Then you say, “what other benefits does this job offer?”
She says the health insurance has better coverage
You say, other than financial, what other benefits does this job offer?”
Then she talks about its right up her alley. Job security. better hours etc…
You’ve helped her discover that money isn’t the only reason for taking or not taking a job. lifestyle is a huge part of it as well.
In the end she takes the job and feels more fulfilled and excited and balanced.
- Audible.com – 180K audio book, right at your fingers
- Anchored – Book Proposal Overview
- Winn Coaching. Tracey Steivang’s website
- 7 Key Questions article.