073: 6 Steps To Making Lasting Change [Podcast] – Todd Stocker.com

Statistically, by now most people have bailed on their new year’s resolutions.  Most of the time, the reason is they don’t have a plan for making lasting change.  Here’s a formula that works every time for lasting change!


Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change. – Jim Rohn #quote

Why do people make changes in their lives?
For one of two reasons:

Pain or Pleasure

An Example of Pain: I was coaching someone who simply couldn’t take his job anymore. We made a plan and after a few months, he transitioned out and went to a different career.

We used Dan Miller’s 48 days to the work you love.

An Example of Pleasure: I used to work Concordia University in St. Paul. I was offered a position at the church I’m at now.

So let’s say you want to make a change in your life. Not just a small change of painting a bedroom, but something more.

I’ve developed a formula that I’ve seen work in my own life and in the lives of others.

Free Change Formula Graphic at toddstocker.com/073

6 step formula with two preambles.
With God’s help
Trusted partnership [coaching]

  1. I make a choice
    • The change I need to make is …
  2. I make a plan
    • The plan I can make is …
  3. I make an effort
    • The work I will do on this plan is …
  4. I make a party
    • The way I can celebrate is …
  5. I make adjustments
    • The adjustments I can make are …
  6. I make a habit
    • The coaching I need is …

Contact me if you’d like a free strategic life coaching conversation.


Links:

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071: What Is Christian Leaders Coaching? [Podcast] – Todd Stocker.com

New year!  New direction.  This is the first episode of my rebranded podcast.  Today, we’ll talk about why I made the switch and what the Christian Leaders Coaching podcast is all about.   


Coaching is fast becoming one of the key ways the people in and out of the workplace find personal and corporate excellence. 

Over the past year, I’ve been learning the skill of ‘coaching’ and have seen the power of helping people find answers to life and work questions so they can move forward in life in a positive way.  

For more, go to http://www.ChristianLeadersCoaching.com

Today, I’m breaking down the three words that make up Christian Leaders Coaching.

Coaching – A good way to describe it is by what it is not.  Remember that all of these are useful.

It is not …

• Counseling – takes a person from -10 to normalcy.  Coaching picks up there and helps move people to  +10 and beyond.  

• Mentoring/Advising – you’re giving your opinion. bringing your personal experience to the table.

• Consulting – close to to the mentor but they are brought into companies to help raise money or build buildings for example. 

• Discipling – Christian world.  principles from the Scripture or from Christian living and teach people how to be a better christ follower by being a better husband or wife or how to know God deeper and love people better.   

There are all awesome and needed in the world today.  What’s the one thing all these roles have in common?  Teaching.  That’s good.  But for lasting change in a person’s life teaching only goes so far.  It is when a person comes up with their own course of action is when true life change happens. 

So what is coaching?  you think of a football coach… no, cause he’s calling the plays, coming up with strategies.  the original definition of a coach was a vehicle that takes a person from one place to another.

So in the coaching relationship, I don’t make the decisions.  I don’t advise or talk about what worked for me in the past (even though I have a lot of experience).  I ask the questions that help you find that answers that are right for your circumstance.  

Leaders

“I’m not a leader. I work in the home. or I’m a student or I’m an accountant.”

I believe that everyone is a leader – starting with yourself.  You lead yourself first, John Maxwell is famous for saying.  

Christian

• Less of a label or demographic and more of the description of here my framework comes from.   

• I am a Christian.  I work mainly in Christian environments and I believe that following the teachings and principles of the Bible are the best way to relate in business, in life, and in the world

By the way, other non-Christian religions have similar principles as well.  Love your neighbor as yourself is a wonder principle in most religions.  Carrying for the under-served, the poor and the like… 

So I’ll use teachings from the Jesus and principles from the bible as the undergirding and foundation of what I talk about.  

My focus will be both helping you with life and leadership topics like I always have, but also helping you take a ‘coach approach’ to how you speak with people.


Links:

038: How To Balance A Home-Based Business And Family – Todd Stocker.com

Eileen asks how to balance a home-based business and her family without feeling guilty.  I offer advice from my past experience but also bring in several other ‘moms’ who give some awesome tips.


ON THIS EPISODE:

I enlisted the help of some other moms who also operate their home-based businesses:

Mom of 4 here: Balance is key. A two hour educational film while you schedule, build, and make calls is ideal. Lunchtime an be park time. Bed time needs to be solid so that 1-2 hours after can be dedicated to planning. – Livi

Stop thinking “balance” – it’s not realistic. Think “BLEND”. Involve them, even a tiny bit. – Mary

I ran my business for the first 5 years without any type of childcare and I’d work at night and during the weekends A LOT but now that my kids are a little older (oldest in school and youngest will be 3 next month), Eileen – that’s a bit like you!  I am ok with having a little childcare and helping things be more balanced. For me, quality of time with my kids trumps quantity because it doesn’t matter if they’re here with me 5 days/week if I’m ignoring them the whole time because I have to get stuff done! I still work a lot after they go to bed and I get by it by knowing that it’s all temporary, in just a few short years BOTH kids will be in school full time and I know I’ll miss worrying about this!! – Jessica

I am a single-parent homeschooling mom to 5 young ones who is starting a VA business. I understand her question!! Mommy guilt will be ever present, but I have found that having solid chunks of time help me to be present in them. For example, I get up at 5am and work for 2 hours. I’m focused wholly on work. Then when kids get up I switch on mom, set aside work and focus on the kids, present with their schooling. I find other chunks of time throughout the day (naptime / electronic time / educational video for example) to be focused on work. I find it helps me be present with my kids when I turn it off. And check social media only at certain designated times. – Sarah

I think you have to accept that you won’t be able to devote full time attention to either, at least not at the same time. When you are working, work, and it has to fit around the schedule of the kids (eating, napping, school, play). When you are with your kids, you aren’t working or on your phone. Set boundaries all around- with clients, yourself, and your kids, so everyone knows the “rules.” But, here’s the thing, you have to be willing to accept the flow that comes with kids. They need you more and less. They get sick. They start school. And, ask for help. In the name of all that is holy, ask for help! lol – Marynka

Summary:

  • It is difficult but you can do it.
  • You have to be strategic.
  • Use the early morning hours of the day.
  • It’s okay to bring someone in to Babysit on a regular schedule.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Why I’m Sick Of The Church Bashing And You Should Be Too – Todd Stocker.com

I heard another rant recently.  This one on the lack of relevance that the church has in today’s society.  The ‘rager’ relentlessly blabbed on about the large percentage of young people leaving the church and the impending ‘death of Christianity’ in the United States.  

I get it.  Church attendance has been declining over the decades and fewer churches seem to care. 

I get it.  Church leaders are afraid to push lazy congregations to do more, be more and impact more because it might take change. 

I get it, but I’m sick of it and I’ll tell you why. 

First, a bit of understanding.  For those of you who don’t know, the church is both organism and organization.  The organism-church is the alive, active movement of the people of God living in Jesus on the breath of the Holy Spirit. God describes the organism-church as the ‘bride of Christ’ and likens it to a body.  Seen and unseen, it is the Christ-followers that seek piety, purpose, and impact in our families, communities and world.  

The organization-church is the organism-church, gathered in clusters — big and small — around the globe.  These are the institutions.  These are the church buildings.  These are the budgets, programs and ministries that operate as a business hopefully with the intention of supporting and furthering the work of God in the world through the organism-church.

Organism and Organization.  Woven together in a beautifully messy dance that stumbles across the stage of a fallen world.   

No, we’re not perfect.  (Duh – palm slap my forehead).  We are human and humans are fallen.  We get lazy.  We get comfortable.  We are selfish and sometimes rude.  But we are the church and — whether you know this or not — most of us in leadership are trying to move the needle.  We see the stats.  We watching the dwindle.  We encourage our staff and the organized church toward mission.  Some don’t.  Many do.  

For me, I love the ambiguity of the thing called the local church.  I love how, even in our frailty, the Holy Spirit changes lives.   

When a women comes to me after the service in tears because our organism-church gathered as the organization-church has been praying for her family and she has started to see change, that’s when I love the church.  When people who have been marginalized by society can find a place of welcome, friendship and purpose, that’s when I love the church.  When a student realizes that when they die, they know without a doubt that they’ll be in heaven, not because of their efforts or by simply being a good person, but by the death and resurrection of Jesus, that’s when I love the church.  In all her brokenness

Ranter, we hear you, but lighten up.  Yes, we have a lot of work to do — work that is getter heavier with every passing generation.  But your battle isn’t against flesh and blood.  Your flamed cries of negativity deflates instead of inspires.  Spend your energy storming the gates of heaven with us, asking for a revival.  Put your relationship with the Spirit ahead of your ratings with the readers.  

Some day, we will celebrate together the fact that God never let his church — in all of her imperfection — be wiped off the face of the planet.  

Peace!

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(Special Announcement!  I’m pleased to announce that a brand new podcast will be starting next week on my site called, “Take Back Your Life.”  For a summary, click here