073: 6 Steps To Making Lasting Change [Podcast] – Todd Stocker.com

Statistically, by now most people have bailed on their new year’s resolutions.  Most of the time, the reason is they don’t have a plan for making lasting change.  Here’s a formula that works every time for lasting change!


Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change. – Jim Rohn #quote

Why do people make changes in their lives?
For one of two reasons:

Pain or Pleasure

An Example of Pain: I was coaching someone who simply couldn’t take his job anymore. We made a plan and after a few months, he transitioned out and went to a different career.

We used Dan Miller’s 48 days to the work you love.

An Example of Pleasure: I used to work Concordia University in St. Paul. I was offered a position at the church I’m at now.

So let’s say you want to make a change in your life. Not just a small change of painting a bedroom, but something more.

I’ve developed a formula that I’ve seen work in my own life and in the lives of others.

Free Change Formula Graphic at toddstocker.com/073

6 step formula with two preambles.
With God’s help
Trusted partnership [coaching]

  1. I make a choice
    • The change I need to make is …
  2. I make a plan
    • The plan I can make is …
  3. I make an effort
    • The work I will do on this plan is …
  4. I make a party
    • The way I can celebrate is …
  5. I make adjustments
    • The adjustments I can make are …
  6. I make a habit
    • The coaching I need is …

Contact me if you’d like a free strategic life coaching conversation.


Links:

050:  One Way To Handle The Storms Of Change [Podcast] – Todd Stocker.com

storms of change.001We all experience change in life.  Like storms forming on the horizon, change sweeps down and causes pressures that you need to handle.  But how do you do that?


ON THIS EPISODE:

Rory Vaden’s book Take The Stairs emphasizes the value of hard work, focus and discipline for success.  

Rory recalls, “In Co, where I grew up, we are world famous for the Rocky Mountains. When storms come they almost always brew from the west and roll out towards the east.

What cows do is very natural. Cows sense the storm coming from the west and so they start to try to run toward the east. The storm catches up with the cows rather quickly. And without knowing any better the cows continue to try to outrun the storm. But instead of outrunning the storm they actually run right along with the storm. Maximizing the amount of pain and time and frustration they experience from that storm!

What buffalo do on the other hand is very unique for the animal kingdom. Buffalo wait for the storm to cross right over the crest of the peak of the mountaintop and as the storm rolls over the ridge the buffalo turn and charge directly into the storm.

Instead of running east away from the storm they run west directly at the storm. By running at the storm they run straight through it. Minimizing the amount of pain and time and frustration they experience from that storm.

We should do the same.  Face the storms head on.


RESOURCES:

046: How To Thrive Through Change [Podcast] – Todd Stocker.com

thrive through change.001Change is all around us.  Some handle it well, others not so much.  Today, I play a clip from a recent keynote talk to the Goodwill/Easter Seals organization and talk about how to thrive through life’s transitions.


ON THIS EPISODE:

A good working definition of change:

  • “it is moving from one place to another.”
  • it is either created by you or cast upon you.
  • you process change like you process grief. 

No matter what part of the spectrum you fall, all of us can benefit from learning how not just to survive, but to thrive through transitions.
HOW DO YOU THRIVE?

  • practice solitude.
    Solitude – the state of being alone, but using that time to do what it takes to refresh.

Divert Daily: Take a break from your normal routine.  12-14 hours is too long to be focused on one type of work.
Withdraw Weekly: Find a place that you can spend time doing an activity that refreshes you.  For me, it’s outdoors or in a quiet spot to do some writing.

Move Monthly: Pull away from the grind and change your setting.  I’ve loved to take a day tarrying along the aisles in antique stores in river towns like Hudson or Stillwater.

Abandon Annually: I try to pack a bag and hide away for an extended period in a cabin or some other place completely removed from familiarity.

  • acknowledge the losses as well as the gains.
  • Identify what you control in the transition.“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t, change your attitude.” Maya Angelou

LINKS:

I Crossed A Line – Handling Change – Todd Stocker.com

Kellie and I crossed a line. It’s one that eventually, every parent crosses in one form or another.  We happened to breach it this week.  

With an overpacked car stuffed of DIY Ikea knickknacks, we found ourselves driving across the great plains of the midwest to drop off my baby girl at college.  She’s our last one to leave the nest.

The departure was hard — more wrenching than Kellie or I could have expected.  To see my little one now grown up and stepping into her own life was wonderful and painful.  To watch her make new friends that live half a country away from us was beautiful and awful.  She too danced on a full plate of emotions.  She wanted us to leave and she wanted us to stay.  She was glad to start her journey and she wanted to come back home.  

Crossing life’s lines are rough.  It is a battle between the known and unknown — the place into which we’ve settled and the place into which we are moving.  I’ve done it before with job changes, residential moves and relationship beginnings.  You’ve done it as well.  In fact, I know of several families at the moment that are crossing lines tragically and emotionally.  

How do we make the traditions? Here’s a tip.

Acknowledge what you’re losing and what you’re gaining.  

This comes at the points of both making a crossing-the-line decision and stepping forward to fulfill it.  What will this change force to melt away?  What will this change present to you in a magnificent way? To  what will you have to say goodbye and to what will you get to say hello?  

She video-called two days after we dropped her off.  Selfishly, I was hoping she would tell me she really missed me, but a few minutes into the call, she paused, looked to her right and said, “Wait Dad.  There’s someone here. [pause again] Oh, hi guys!” and her volleyball team came in and jumped on her bed.  She giggled.  I choked.  But that is the way it is supposed to be as we cross the lines.  

Peace!

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