038: How To Balance A Home-Based Business And Family – Todd Stocker.com

Eileen asks how to balance a home-based business and her family without feeling guilty.  I offer advice from my past experience but also bring in several other ‘moms’ who give some awesome tips.


ON THIS EPISODE:

I enlisted the help of some other moms who also operate their home-based businesses:

Mom of 4 here: Balance is key. A two hour educational film while you schedule, build, and make calls is ideal. Lunchtime an be park time. Bed time needs to be solid so that 1-2 hours after can be dedicated to planning. – Livi

Stop thinking “balance” – it’s not realistic. Think “BLEND”. Involve them, even a tiny bit. – Mary

I ran my business for the first 5 years without any type of childcare and I’d work at night and during the weekends A LOT but now that my kids are a little older (oldest in school and youngest will be 3 next month), Eileen – that’s a bit like you!  I am ok with having a little childcare and helping things be more balanced. For me, quality of time with my kids trumps quantity because it doesn’t matter if they’re here with me 5 days/week if I’m ignoring them the whole time because I have to get stuff done! I still work a lot after they go to bed and I get by it by knowing that it’s all temporary, in just a few short years BOTH kids will be in school full time and I know I’ll miss worrying about this!! – Jessica

I am a single-parent homeschooling mom to 5 young ones who is starting a VA business. I understand her question!! Mommy guilt will be ever present, but I have found that having solid chunks of time help me to be present in them. For example, I get up at 5am and work for 2 hours. I’m focused wholly on work. Then when kids get up I switch on mom, set aside work and focus on the kids, present with their schooling. I find other chunks of time throughout the day (naptime / electronic time / educational video for example) to be focused on work. I find it helps me be present with my kids when I turn it off. And check social media only at certain designated times. – Sarah

I think you have to accept that you won’t be able to devote full time attention to either, at least not at the same time. When you are working, work, and it has to fit around the schedule of the kids (eating, napping, school, play). When you are with your kids, you aren’t working or on your phone. Set boundaries all around- with clients, yourself, and your kids, so everyone knows the “rules.” But, here’s the thing, you have to be willing to accept the flow that comes with kids. They need you more and less. They get sick. They start school. And, ask for help. In the name of all that is holy, ask for help! lol – Marynka

Summary:

  • It is difficult but you can do it.
  • You have to be strategic.
  • Use the early morning hours of the day.
  • It’s okay to bring someone in to Babysit on a regular schedule.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

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Do You Disconnect To Reconnect? – Todd Stocker.com

disconecctreconnect.001I recently started a closed Facebook group for my ‘Take Back Your Life’ community (click below).  These folks are new ‘voices’ that I already love.

Yesterday, I asked the group what a weekend looks like for them and one of the ‘Lifers’ — that’s what I call us — said that weekends were her time to disconnect to reconnect.  Fleshing that out, she meant that she disconnects from work to reconnect with family and friends. 

Beautiful thought.  Disconnect to Reconnect.  Disconnect from a crazy routine.  Disconnect from the slaving 9-to-5.  Disconnect from chaos, boredom, and meaninglessness to reconnect to calm, fun and purpose. 

Good advice — advice I need to practice because in my love for ideas, leadership and creativity, I tend to work 24/7.  Disconnecting gives me the opportunity to be refreshed, encouraged, and intentionally hit a ‘reset’ on my thoughts and relationships.  

It’s what Jesus did.  He disconnected from the crazy to reconnect to his Father.  He disconnected from divinity to reconnect with humanity, all the while embodying both.  

Disconnect to Reconnect.  Its a great model for healthy living.  How do you ‘disconnect to reconnect’?

To request to be a part of the new ‘Take Back Your Life’ Facebook group, click the image below.

Peace!

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023: 5 Tips On Handling Your Family During The Holidays – Todd Stocker.com

weird familyFor most, the holidays are wonderful times of celebrations with friends and family. But what if your family celebrations are filled with tension? I offer 5 tips on handling those stressful times.


On This Podcast:

This time of year can be wonderful.  All of the events and celebrations with family should make us happy.  But a recent survey said 24% of people are dreading seeing relatives during the holidays.  That’s 76million people!

What if there was a way  — this Christmas — that instead of dreading seeing crazy Uncle Ralph or that obnoxious cousin, that you felt good about getting together with them.

There is a solution!  It comes from the Bible.

Romans 12:15-18.  “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!  Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all people.

And this is the key verse:  “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with everyone.”

At the end of the day, have you done everything YOU can to be at peace with those family members?

How to do that?

  1. Ahead of time, think through the patterns.  When you’re with that person, what starts the conversation going down the wrong path?  What sets you off?  If you think through ahead of time, you’ll be prepared to avoid – politics, religion whatever. They might not respond positively, but remember “as far as it depends on YOU.”
  2. “Kill them with encouragements.”  Or compliments.  Not falsely.  You can say, “Interesting sweater.  I like your hair.  Great ham.”  Just be authentic.
  3. Ask for help from them.  Let’s say your getting gifts out of the car and you could carry all of them.  Don’t.  Go in and ask Uncle Fred for help.  When you ask someone for help, it immediately forms a kindred between the two of you.
  4. Sometimes it might mean removing yourself from the situation.
  5. Predetermine to enjoy the gathering.  This is the most powerful.  Believe ahead of time that the gathering will be enjoyable.  Speak it out loud.  Your subconscious mind will go into the family gathering believing that it will be great.  When the negative comments from your mother in law start to fly, your subconscious mind will try to reconcile the difference by 1st, reminding you of your commitment to make it a great event, then help you remember how to respond with peace.

I believe that this year’s christmas gatherings are going to be great for you because you’re the smartest podcast audience out there and you are dedicated to talking Romans serious, as far as it depends on you, be a peace with everyone!


Links:

One Of Those Great Days!

family-time“How Can I Spend More Time With My Family?”

[These questions come from readers.  If you have a question, ask it here.]

Yesterday (Mother’s Day) was one of those days that skyrocketed above others in recent months.  You see, our family is at the point where each are holding competing schedules which minimizes our time together.  My son tours with his band, my daughter is crunching in “friend time” before she heads to college, my wife flies with a local airline and I am intent on my work.

Yet, the glory of yesterday was that all of us paused.  We took a break.  We noticed ink-lessness on the pages of our schedule and refused to fill it.  It had been quite a while since the four of us spent all day and night together.  

The wonderful thing about it was we talked and ate and laughed and argued and laughed again.  It was simply living in the churchy word “fellowship.”  We fellowshipped with each other.  We shared in commonness and joy.   We regrouped and caught up.  

When was the last time you refused to let the bias of busyness get in the way of your family ‘fellowship?’  When was the last time you carved out a day, an afternoon, a moment to look in the other’s eyes and dive deep into their experience?

10384472_10203213279431838_5694741344373953497_nYou were made to be in a family.  You were made to live in those relationships.  Perfect or less than, God placed you there.  Enjoy them. Learn from them.  Know them and be known by them.  Maybe, God will allow you to experiences one of those days.  

Peace!

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