What Do You Want? – Todd Stocker.com

“Though good advice lies deep within the heart, a person with understanding will draw it out.” Proverbs 20:5 NLT

I love that Jesus’ main tool of teaching was asking questions.  Here you have the master of the universe, the creator, and knower of all things, asking finite people questions to teach them about life, about God and about loving well.

For instance, Jesus asked people,

  • Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your lifespan?  (Matt 6:27)
  • What did you go out to the desert to see? (Matt 11:8)

And probably one of my favorites…

  • What do you want me to do for you? (Matt 20:32)

I love this question because you and I don’t ask it enough.  Truthfully, Jesus isn’t a vending machine, but he encourages you to be honest with yourself and with him and ask for want you want.

It feels selfish.  It feels petty.  And often times, because of our skewed view of what’s truly important in life, the answer is self-serving.

Yet I challenge those who would wart it off as not putting God first.  If you are a Christ follower, your faith leans you toward asking for help.  Faith realizes the need for the Devine and when we humbly and truthfully answer what Jesus asks, “what do you want?” Faith answers from the deep longings of our souls.

Will he grant it? Possibly.  Does he want to? Absolutely.  It is why Jesus taught us to pray “give us this day our daily bread.”

So what do you want?  Do you even know?  Maybe, it is a question you need to process with someone else.  Remember, he loves you and has great purposes for you.  Ultimately, it is to know him and walk in the ways of Christ.


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Need some help with this question?  Click here.


061: What Are Limiting Beliefs And How Do I Overcome Them? [Podcast] – Todd Stocker.com

copyright GammaMindset

copyright GammaMindset

Today, our topic are these obstacles called ‘limiting beliefs’. Do you know what that term refers to? Did you know that everyone on the planet has some?

  1. Define limiting belief
  2. How to identify them in your life
  3. How to make one simple change in your language that will help break through them.

Defined:  A limiting belief is a false belief that a person acquires as a result of making an incorrect conclusion about something in life. For example, a person could acquire a limiting belief about his ability to succeed as soon as he fails. I like to think of them as making a false conclusion about something — especially yourself — when you find that you have failed at something.

How to identify them:
Because you’re dealing with belief, a good Bible verse to study is Romans 12:2

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”

One great way to identify limiting beliefs in your life is to connect with a counselor if it is a deeper anxiety or medical problem.  If you just want to overcome obstacles to taking your life to the next level, try life coaching.
Click this logo for my life coaching help:
CLCcoachingLogo.001Another way is to use one word:  ‘Because’. This comes from Andy Hunt.
When you identify a gap in your life — more money, want to lose weight — and you use the word ‘because’, what follows is your belief about the gap. For example: “I can’t lose weight because I like bread too much.” True or not, “I like bread too much is a belief about something about you.
Also, limiting beliefs show up in several ways.
When you make excuses.
When you complain about things.
When you indulge in negative thoughts.
When you indulge in unhelpful habits.
When you talk to yourself in limiting and unhelpful ways.
When you jump to conclusions and/or make assumptions.
When you hesitate or express your fears.
When you worry about failure or about making mistakes.
When you worry uncontrollably for no apparent reason.
When you think about procrastinating.
When you think about indulging in perfectionism
How can you fix a limiting belief?
This may seem simple and rather trite actually.  because some limiting beliefs are deeply rooted from childhood, especially if you were you and someone told you-you won’t amount to much or you were ugly or clumsy, etc.
But there are a few ways to overcome
There’s a phrase I picked up from a little book called Peaks and Valleys.  Make reality your friend.
Ask, “What is really the reality of the situation?”
Another way to begin to overcome limiting beliefs is to ask that gap question and then ask, ‘Says who?” This is a bit like your talking about yourself.  I can’t lose weight.  Says who.  Someone else?  You?  This helps to put a face on who has or is creating the limiting belief.
Another way, Do some dreaming.
What does it look like to achieve what you want?

Most things, you should try to cast in a positive light.



057: Who Is Driving Your Life? [Podcast] – Todd Stocker.com

who is driving your life.001Have you ever felt like your life was going in circles? Have you ever wanted to take control and make positive changes in your life?  Today, I’ll give you some advice that will help you take back your life.


Who is driving your life?  Is it you or someone else?

Invictus Poem:

“I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.”

– William Ernest Henley


You and I allow other people or even situations to drive our lives. 

Dan Miller talks about creating a transition plan.


  1. Identify where you want to go.
  2. Figure out where you are now.
  3. What are the obstacles in your way
  4. What is the first step that you need to take to get there

Remember, you have more control than you think!

This is where life-coaching comes in. Coaching is different from counseling.  Click here to find out more about Coaching.

Counseling is outside in. Coaching is inside out.




054: 2 Key Skills In Helping Others Solve Problems [Podcast] – Todd Stocker.com

Learning to listen well and ask the right questions are skills that can help you help others discover solutions.  This is important, not just for them, but it sets you up as an expert and a ‘go-to’ person that could lead to your own success.


“When I tell, I inform.  When I ask, I transform.”

What is life-coaching?  First let me tell you what it isn’t.

Coaching is not Counseling.

Counseling dives deep into the psyche of a person and offers guidance in resolving personal, social, or psychological problems.  Anger issues.  Anxiety problems, marriage counseling.  etc…  

I’m in favor of counseling… 

A Coach is a person who encourages people on matters having to do with careers or personal challenges.  Coaching is It’s really what the TBYL podcast is all about.  I help you discover your purpose and passion so you can be successful in all you do.  

But you don’t have to be a professional life-coach to help other people.  

These 2 skills are used when you are in conversation with someone who is trying to figure out a solution to a problem.  

1st key skill:  Listening.

I’m not going to bore you with all of the aspects of listening but If you could simply develop in what is called ‘non-assumption’ listening, you can really add value to people.  

Non-assumption listening means that you don’t assume the direction of the conversation.  

The problem is most of us are listening to another person, just waiting for them to finish so that we can interject.  Non-assumption listening is simply getting yourself out of the way and allow the conversation to develop and grow as God would have it.  

The way you help someone solve a problem is to help them discover the solution.  And the way you help them discover a solution, is by asking the right kind of questions without offering a solution you know is right.

Jesus did this all the time.  He’d often begin his teaching with “what do you think…  

for example… Matthew 21… What do you think?  A man had two sons… and Jesus tells the story of the sons working in the vineyard.  

When you ask questions, it encourages the other person to process and come to a conclusion that fits them — not you.  

Skill #2:  Asking Questions

Let’s say a friend tells you the situation and you hear her mention that the pay is a little lower that her current position.  Instead of offering your opinion, you say,

“If money weren’t an issue, would you be able to make the decision.”

She says “yes”

 Then you say, “what other benefits does this job offer?”

She says the health insurance has better coverage

You say, other than financial, what other benefits does this job offer?”

Then she talks about its right up her alley.  Job security. better hours etc…

You’ve helped her discover that money isn’t the only reason for taking or not taking a job.  lifestyle is a huge part of it as well.  

In the end she takes the job and feels more fulfilled and excited and balanced.