060: Helping Your Kids Going Back To School Part 2 [Podcast] – Todd Stocker.com

backtoschooltwo.001Replay episode: School begins soon.  In my interview with life-coach, Tracey Steivang, give awesome tips to make this the best “back to school” you’ve had ever!  This is part two of a two-part interview.

Links:

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017: How To Be Successful Parents At Every Level – Todd Stocker.com

successful parent.001Your parents and my parents did some things great in raising us. Other things may have scarred us for life. How do you become successful parents as your children mature through the four stages of childhood?


Show Notes:

One of the struggles of parenting — especially if you have more than one child — is that you can parent them basically the same in the earlier years.

Even though we always wear the moniker ‘Parent,’  how that title plays out needs to change as our children develop from birth through school and on into the world.  I talk to many parents whose biggest struggle with raising their kids centers on their inability to transition from stage to stage.   Like it or not, children grow up.  So understanding our role as parent’ from stage to stage is critical in the healthy emotional development of our children.

Here are the four stages through which parents must transition.  The educational ages stated here are obviously a generalization but they can provide a guide for you as you learn to grow through each wonderful stage:

“The Nurturer”:  Birth through pre-school.  At this stage, we are the main source of everything for our child.  Their basics of survival completely depend on our ability to nurture and provide for their every need.  Parents make decisions for them you are their brain.

“The Parent”:  1st – 6th grades:  This stage is called the “Classic Parenting” stage.  We begin to help them learn the basics of being a developing child; enrolling and guiding them through their first real educational experiences and teaching them what it means to be a human being.  At this point, we are truly neck deep in action of parenting – having main control over their daily lives.  But as they progress through these stages, you have to begin transferring ownership of their life from you to them.

“The Coach”:  7th – 10th grades:  The greatest holistic changes happen during these years  in our child and as such, so does our role.  We now need to begin transitioning  from having main control over their lives – as in “The Parent” stage – to allow them to make some of their own choices, fail and learn.  We “Coach” them by helping them think through the consequences of their actions and providing clear and age appropriate expectations of their behavior.  The tactics of this stage actually start earlier, but this is when you really need to let them fail and learn.

  • Questions for them:  “I think this is the best but what do you think?  Does that sound good to you?”
“The Mentor”:  11th – 12th grades and beyond:  Assuming that your young man or woman will be leaving the nest after this stage,  this is a wonderful experience of being a resource for their decision making and a mirror to share our own personal experiences of success and failure.  Our job is to continue to prepare them for the world ‘out there’.
  • Questions for them:  “Wow that’s a good question (or situation or predicament).  What do you think you should do?”

Very Important:  When do you suppose are the most troubling times for parents and kids?  In the transitions.

Who has the most struggle generally between men and women?  Generally women.  Studies show women are more apt to want to keep children safe.

Being a parent is a heavy responsibility.  It is not static. It is not a one-size-fits-all.  But if you are willing and able to transition as your child grows, the job of parenting can be a wonderful and fulfilling adventure.

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DUMPSTER MURDER: WHEN DOING RIGHT IS THE LOVING THING TO DO

Autumn Pasquale

My stomach cramped as I heard about the abduction of 12-year-old Autumn Pasquale.  (Read the story here).  Just this week, she was riding her bike when she vanished and her body was found in a dumpster.  Then I had the same reaction when I heard that the assailants were two teenage boys, 15 and 17.  But what struck me was who turned them in!  Their mom!

She found a Facebook posting on one of the boys’ page and notified officials.

Would you be able to do that?  Would you be able to turn in your own children?  This mom knew the ramifications.  She knew what a life-changing event this would be for all of them.   She easily could have kept quiet, hoping no one would find out.  Instead, this mom loved her sons enough to turn them in.

Maybe that last sentence is the key.  Maybe doing the right thing, even when it’s hard, is the loving thing to do.

Details are still unfolding in the case.  Interviews are revealing the story and investigators and piecing together the evidence.  However, the bigger lessons learned are from a mom who is, at this moment, crying two times – once for her sons and once for a little girl on a bike, abducted and killed by her own flesh and blood.

Now I can sense how God feels about what He did for us.  (read more)

Peace!

WHY OUR CHILDREN HAVE LOST RESPECT FOR OUR ELDERS

Now, I’m probably going to offend some of you but what Kellie and I saw made me sick. We watched the recent news report on Karen Klein, a 68-year-old grandmother of eight who was verbally bullied by 7th grade kids. The verbal feces that spewed from the forked tongues of these hellions was simply shocking. The whole scene caused me to ask “What has caused our society to allow our children to treat someone so horrifically?”

(Her Story)

I believe it comes down to a few things.

We’ve sent God a-packin. We have pushed God right out the door of our institutional systems. Government, Education and the private sector decided it was easier to succumb to the petty whining of the few rather than stand up and declare the truth that our nation was founded on God’s principles.

We’ve crucified the traditional parent. Why is it that the media outlets seem to think that it’s ok to make fun of and minimize Dads and Moms? Why is it ok to show and lift up non-traditional family situations as ‘normal’ when statistics reveal traditional family situations as being the healthiest in which to raise children?

We’ve devalued LIFE. If we can kill babies and call it ‘health-care’, why not bully our elders and call it ‘fun’? If we can blowup people in our movies, TV shows and games and call it ‘entertainment’, why not round up the elderly, herd them into gas-chambers and call it ‘population cleansing’?

We’ve allowed our kids to be our Kings. If you’re reading this last one and you’re a parent, I want you to repeat after me. “I am their PARENT, not their FRIEND.” If you give Johnny and Susie whatever they want because they cry for it, you are not their parent, you are their vending machine and they will take over. Please, please, please! Discipline your kids! My advise – be strong and courageous. That’s what your kids want and need from you.

Question: What can you do to help your kids see that people matter? Write a comment below …

Peace!