088: The Secret To Growing [Podcast] – Todd Stocker.com

Many people describe their lives as boring.  What if there were a way to break out of the boredom and live a wonderfully challenging life?  I’ll talk about that today.


“Live more, complain less. More smiles, less stress. Less hate, more blessed.” – David Roads

Simply put, the secret is doing things in your gifted zone (things you’re talented and naturally good at) but outside your comfort zone (the area of life with which you are comfortable).

That will force you to grow.





051: The Secret 12 Hour Rule [Podcast] – Todd Stocker.com

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Have you ever been sidelined because of a criticism or grew a false sense of pride because of a compliment? This secret rule can help you handle both failure and success in a positive and motivating way.


I struggle with something that I know others do as well:  Handling criticism.  

I could have 9 compliments and 1 criticism.  What do I focus on.  What ruins my day?  The one criticism.  

In the podcast, I give an example of a recent keynote speech I delivered and what became of the feedback.

On the opposite side, I sometimes get fixated on a success!  If I stay in the moment of success, I miss opportunities that may present themselves for something greater. 

Ref:  Jim Collins’ book ‘Good To Great’.

Here’s the secret 12 hour rule:

When you lose, you have 12 hours emotionally to cry, throw a tantrum, be mad etc.  Then you have to get back to work.  

Benefit:  You don’t wallow in the loss.  

On the other side is this.  When you win, you celebrate and talk about it and have fun with the win emotionally, but after the 12 hours, you get back to focussing and moving forward.   This it a bit looser because you really want to cultivate positive emotions 

The Benefit:  It didn’t turn into pride.  “A humble team is a winning team.”


[The book I’m writing this year is called “Anchored – Finding Stability In A World Adrift”.  If you’d like to receive free advanced chapters and be notified when its available, sign up below — I’ll send you a portion of the book’s proposal right away!]

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The One Secret to a Great Weekend!

If you’re like me, you enjoy your weekends.  That time of rest from your work is so important to your overall health.  However, studies show that more and more people are feeling less rejuvenated by their weekly break.

Is this you?  Here is the one secret to having a great weekend:

Be intentional with your weekend time:

Since our weekly hours are usually spent in time-sensitive deadlines, we over compensate on the weekends and “do whatever we want”.  However, we end up floating aimlessly through the days with no direction.  To steer away from the tyranny of aimlessness, schedule your weekend as you would your work week.  I normally do that a head of time, throughout the week.

How do you do that?

  • Look at the hours in your weekend as chunks of time.  Don’t try to determine your activities moment by moment but rather half days by half days.  For me, this is a good measurement.  For example, I know that honoring God in Worship is the priority.  Then I look at the other half day chunks and go from there.
  • Engage the “less-is-more” rule.  Don’t overload the amount of activities you’d like to do.  If there are kids events or family happenings that you’re required to do, be cautious of adding extra non-required activities.  This makes for a hurried and un-enjoyable weekend.
  • Most Important!  Schedule personal flexed-downtime (my word).  Before you are barraged with  the honey-do-list, events or required activities, chunk out a block of time for yourself.   However, know what that time looks like.  Here’s my own example.  On my first day off, I chunk out 8am-11am and call it Todd-time.  During this time, I do the things I enjoy – writing, ready, listening to music etc.  This is the refreshment time of my weekend.  Then I move on and do other activities that may or may not be required.

The key is being intentional and I always try to find time to connect with family and friends at some point a midst the chunks.

Question:  How do you relax on a weekend?



If you’re one of my regular readers and have subscribed to my blog you know that my customary writing frequency is 2-3x posts per week.  If you’ve noticed, the past few weeks have been less because I’ve violated one of my principles of time management.  The secret to lasting, whether you are a field worker, engineer, cook, executive or pastor is remembering to carve out moments to be refreshed.

This time of year, our church organization ramps up to begin another season of ministry and it is a time of long hours, heavy schedules and a multiplicity of meetings.  Events take their seats on my bus of priority and often, rest is in the back.

Here’s what I’ll be returning to today.  It’s a phrase that is the secret to lasting.

“Divert daily, withdraw weekly, retreat monthly and abandon annually”

Daily, take a break from your normal routine.  12-14 hours is too long to be focused on one type of work.

Weekly, find a place that you can spend time doing an activity that refreshes you.  For me, it’s outdoors or in a quiet spot to do some writing.

Monthly, pull away from the grind and change your setting.  I’ve loved to take a day tarrying along the aisles in antique stores in river towns like Hudson or Stillwater.

Annually, I try to pack a bag and hide away for an extended period in a cabin or some other place completely removed from familiarity.

In these times, God meets me.  He encourages me.  He gives me direction and strength.  For me, that is the secret to lasting.

What do you do to relax and refresh?