Makenzie’s Misunderstood Bible Verse – Jeremiah 29:11 – Part 2

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” – Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Truthfully, this translation is not the best for this verse (see part 1).  Even though millions have it as a life verse, have used it for comfort and have placed it on everything from bumper stickers to coffee mugs, it still doesn’t capture what God is saying.

It’s Makenzie’s life verse as well but there is so much more meaning to it if you dig into the context and the original language.  In context, God has exiled the Israelites to Babylon (which is a whole ‘nother theological discussion).  He tells them to hang out, do what needs to be done, get married, build a life etc.  But at the end of 70 years, He is going to bring them back to their homeland.

The Israelites are ticked, tired and tried.  They need to know that God hasn’t abandoned them or forgotten about them.  They need some encouragement from this God who, in His love, allowed desperate hardship to uproot their entire people group.  And in comes verse 11 of Jeremiah 29:11.  Through a word of encouragement, God says to this beat up nation, “Hey!  Don’t worry.  Hang in there.   For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

God doesn’t have an individual plan for you but more importantly, He has a larger purpose for you (again, see part 1).  And, as the original language points out, God thinks good thoughts about you.  For one, they are thoughts of peace.  It is possible to be in the worst life tragedy or the most frustrating situation and still have peace!  The peace that God gives!  He doesn’t think evil on you either.  Meaning, if you feel like God has allowed destruction in your life, behind the scenes, He is working it into something good (see Romans 8:28).  He also knows what the end of the story looks like in your life and, again, it is good.  It may not be what you expect, but it is good.

Our family is experiencing this good right now.  Coming next month, it will be 3 years since the Lord danced my oldest daughter, Makenzie, to heaven.  It has been extremely hard, much of the time.  It has been a journey that I wish upon no one.  But we are seeing how even in the midst of the struggle, we have had peace.  And it is good.

So go ahead and mark up the T-shirts with Jer. 29:11.  Claim it for your confirmation or life verse.  Tattoo it on your hand.  Whatever.  God has great thoughts and a purpose for your existence.  Live fully, Love God and Laugh from your gut.  Life is worthy of that!

Peace!

Makenzie’s Misunderstood Bible Verse – Jeremiah 29:11 – Part 1

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” – Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

I hate this verse.  No – that’s a bit strong.  I struggle with this verse.  And while many of you have this verse on t-shirts, bracelets and small magnets on the doors to your fridge, I get frustrated thinking about it!

Here’s my tension: If God has plans for me, plans that involve prosperity, hope, and protection, then what happened to God’s plans when my daughter, Makenzie died in a car accident a few years – moments – ago?  This was her life verse and motivationally so!  But what about the “not to harm you” part.  What about that, God?  And does that mean that I can goof up and step out of God’s plan and then work to get back on His plan for me?

As you can tell, I’ve battled with this verse’s language-ing until I dug deeper into its context and its original Hebrew.  I’ll spare you a theological treatise, but a better translation of Jeremiah 29:11 comes in the King James Version.  It reads,

 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Doesn’t that change the “plans” part?  Here’s what this verse is actually saying.  It does not say that God has an individual plan for your life – like a blueprint of every moment you spend on the timeline of this earth.  The Bible is clear that He does have a purpose for your life but not necessarily a specific plan.  The purpose about which God talks is for you to know Jesus and to grow to be more like Him in character and relationship.  God’s purpose for you is not based on what you do but moreso who you are.

That means that once you know that your purpose is to love God and love others, then the adventure is discovering how that purpose plays out in your life.  You are freed up to figure out how you are wired, develop those talents and gifts, and then deploy them into the lives of people around you. Part of that means that you can actually do things that you enjoy!  What a concept!

Listen, God doesn’t care what you do for a career – whether you should be an architect, doctor, teacher or pastor.  He doesn’t care what parking space you choose or which outfit you should wear today.  If it doesn’t lead you or others to sin, and if it is a wise decision, do whatever you want!   Generally, God does not have a detailed plan for your life.

So what does this verse mean then?  Stay Tuned …

Peace!

First-Withouts – Birthday Without Makenzie

Makenzie on her last birthday (18 years old)

A handful of days ago, Kellie and I were privileged to share Makenzie’s story at the Woodbury Area Prayer Breakfast.  Among the 700 people were Bill and Zoe Hyland whose high school aged son, Braedon, was killed in a car accident in October of last year.  It was a painful yet beautiful conversation as they, like us, grapple with the new normal.

Bill said that they are going through the “first-withouts” date list.  The “first” Christmas “without” Braedon.  The “first” Spring “without” him.  The list goes on and on for the likes of us.

Today is Makenzie’s birthday.  She would have been 21 years old.  A milestone in the lives of other young adult but not for her.  This is not a “first-without” for us but rather another reminder of her birth and death and birth again.  Another date on the calendar that we cannot escape.  So we choose to lay low today.  We’ll laugh about her laugh – smile about her smile.  We’ll most likely cry as we ponder and remember.  But we’ll also thank Jesus for giving her a list of “first-withouts.”  “First” days in heaven “without” pain, sorrow or suffering.  “First” days in heaven “without” struggle, confusion of boredom.  And, if she were speaking it, “First” days in heaven “without” math!

Love you button nose.  And Happy 21st Birthday.

Peace!

Links to check out:

• MAKENZIE!  Happy Birthday to You!
• BRAEDON HYLAND Foundation
• KELLIE STOCKER Blog

“REFINED” Now Available on Kindle!

NOW AVAILABLE!

(Click Here for more info and purchase)

“If God is so good, why do I experience pain?” Many questions haunt us when our life is interrupted by sudden loss and the resulting grief. In “Refined: Turning Pain into Purpose,” Todd helps us see that there is a purpose for the pain that we experience.

After the death of his daughter, Todd worked at a refinery, melting down broken jewelry and making it useful again. One day, as he was pouring gold into a crucible, it occurred to him that this process of refining mirrored the process of grief.

Table of Contents:
1 – Our Story: Is This Really Happening?
2 – Illumination: Change Your Attitude
3 – Heating: Prepare For the Journey
4 – Protection: Trust in His Strength
5 – Loneliness: Look for Signs of God’s Presence
6 – Defiance: Surrender to the Refiner
7 – Reflection: Choose to be Radiant
8 – Timing: Wait for His Unfolding Purpose
9 – And Now …: A Word of Encouragement

(Click Here for more info and purchase)

Only the Lonely

Excerpt from the book “REFINED – Turning Pain into Purpose” (Available Monday, 4/30)

Last spring, I went to see the sites in Old City, Jerusalem. If you’ve been there, you know what a life-changing adventure it can be. We stayed in hostels, graced the touristy sites and spent time processing the life of Jesus as He walked the city streets. One of the days, our group decided to go back and spend more time at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Having been there before, I decided to strike out on my own and explore some of the back alleyways of this historic city.

Most of the streets are at best, 15 feet wide with small, hundred year old shops that dot every nook. There are few cars and tons of people. It didn’t take long for me to realize I had no idea where I was. I knew that eventually I’d recognize a building, storefront or restaurant, but at the time, I was dithering. Maybe it’s this way. Or maybe I should take a left at the next alley. I was lost.

Stumbling around a corner, I found myself on a larger street and in the middle of an even larger crowd. The group was so densely packed that I had no option but to walk the same way they were walking. Turning to the guy uncomfortably close to me, I asked if he knew where my hostel was. He looked at me funny and simply said, “Polska.” Yes, I was in the middle of a Christian pilgrimage group from Poland. No English, just Polish. I couldn’t get out. I couldn’t communicate. I knew no one and no one knew me. I was a disconnected human in a sea of a connected human group being moved along by the ebb and flow of people whose language was spoken through puckered lips.

At that moment, in the middle of hundreds, I was lonely. That’s the funny thing about loneliness. It doesn’t have to do with people proximity. It has everything to do with people connection. Pain and grief cause disconnection which is fuel for the fires of loneliness.

Peace!

His Strength

Coming Monday!  “REFINED – Turning Pain into Purpose.”

(Kindle only version.  Book copy will be available in May which includes a discussion guide)

Below is an excerpt from the chapter titled “PROTECTION – Trust in His Strength.”  

I love the Biblical story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.  Here were three young lads, captured by the horrid King Nebuchadnezzar and forced into slavery.  When the king demanded that everyone bow down and worship an image of his god, the three boys refused.  They were followers of the Lord.  They were devoted to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and they were ready for any consequence that the king might impose on them for their disobedience.

Angered, the king ordered that they be thrown into a raging hot furnace.  But when the king looked into the flames, Shadrach Meshach, and Abednego were walking around, unbound and unharmed.  They had been protected from the blaze of the furnace.  Not only that, but an angel was accompanying them.  God was in control.  He protected them in the fire and even the King was amazed.

There are other stories in the Bible of God’s protection.  Moses leading the Israelites and being guided by God’s pillar of clouds by day and protected by His pillar of fire at night.  (Isn’t it interesting that God used FIRE to protect them).  Daniel in the Lion’s Den.  The disciples in the raging storm.  Paul escaping from angry crowds.  All of these accounts teach the same lessons – God is in control and we can trust Him as He turns our pain into purpose.

Right now, you or someone you cherish may be facing a life threatening situation.  A cancer that was diagnosed in late stages.  An accident that leaves you hospitalized.  A pregnancy that is deteriorating the health of both mother and child.  Whatever the alarm, God knows how much heat it takes to accomplish His purpose and He knows how little strength you have left.

For some reason, the fire through which you are walking is perfectly managed by God.  He knows your strength limit.  Ironic, isn’t it.  When you feel at your weakest, that is actually a sign of God’s strength.

No matter how difficult the Crucible of our loss has been, my Refiner is still in control. No matter how brutal, ruthless or slow, the Crucible is an agonizing gift that is melting, molding and making me into something that my Refiner can really use.

Peace!

NEW BOOK! “REFINED – Turning Pain into Purpose”

I’m so excited to announce that coming

Monday, April 30, my new book titled,

“REFINED – Turning Pain into Purpose”

will be published on Kindle. The hard copy will be available June 3 which will include a discussion guide.

Here’s a snippet …

There are different levels of intensity when it comes to life’s difficulties. Some are inconveniences. Some are frustrations. Some are obstacles and some are real trials. Some of the pain that we experience in life is completely out of our control and some is self-inflicted.

I remember as a kid, learning a new word from one of my seedier friends at school. This word is on the ‘naughty list’ but it fits well with the classic song, “Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang!” And yes, that is the song that I sang – bad word inserted – all the way home from school that day. As I rounded the corner into our cul-de-sac, one of our neighbors happen to be out front gardening. Immediately she called my mom and informed her of my interesting song lyric. In turn, my mother met me out front and said, “Todd. Do you know that that word is one we don’t say. It is a very naughty word and you need to stop using it or else they’ll be consequences.”

She was lovingly firm and the message came across loud and clear. However, I liked how that word sounded and how it fit well with the sing-song that was hopping around in my head. So, instead of obeying my mom, who had disappeared back inside the house, I chose to launch into another and even louder chorus.

Dogs started barking. Neighbors came out with pitch-forks and shovels. Bats flapped violently from leafless trees. OK, I’m exaggerating but it was a dark point when my mom stormed out of the front door, grabbed me by the back of my collar and dragged me directly to THE ROOM. Yes. You know which room about which I’m talking about. The Bathroom.

I took my position with my head bent over the sink as my mom grabbed the bar of soap. Holding it up, she said what every parent says before they discipline their child, “This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you!”

As I saw the look of determination on her face and her white knuckles clenching the Dove, a demonic voice crackled from my lips and I said, “You’re a LIAR!” Not one of my banner days of communication.

God allowed that pain in my life for a reason, for a purpose. That purpose on that day was for me to learn first, not to disobey my mom and second, not ever to buy bars of Dove soap

Peace!

“Please God, Help Her”

It was a small blue car that pulled along side me at a random stoplight next to a railroad crossing sign.  I don’t remember much about its make or year  but I do remember the driver.  She was in her mid-twenties – her brown hair pulled up in a bun with wisps that exploded from the middle like a fourth of July firework. At four in the afternoon, it looked like she had just rolled out of bed.

She was on the phone.  Momentary bursts of anger played out in hitting the stirring wheel, occasionally lifting her left hand – palm up – and briefly hiding an ever increasing tearing with a quick wipe.

I felt sorry for her.  Maybe she was talking to the IRS.  Maybe she was trying to figure out her student loan consolidation.  Most likely, she was trying to verbally glue together the tattered fragments of a once love relationship.

Again, I felt sorry for her.  I wanted to help.  But the time was short.  Green was coming.  So I asked the One I knew could do what I couldn’t.  No big speech of prayer with large churchy words.  I simply said, “Please God, help her.”  That’s what it means to love all people.  If you can’t do anything, ask the One who can.  When the light changed, she went right, I went left.  But neither of us went alone.  In the midst of our deepest hurt, the One is always there.

So maybe you are the girl in the blue car.  Maybe you are the one I saw yesterday at the stop sign of hope and pain.  If you are, just remember that there are people whom you don’t know, who love you and pray for you.

Now, my light is green.

Peace!

Makenzie in My Dreams

It’s been nearly three years since my oldest daughter, Makenzie died in a car accident.  Since then, our family has been on a journey marked by recovery, struggle, joy, sadness, questions and pain.  Pain – there’s been plenty of that.  But what has been lacking in our movement forward are dreams.  In my vulnerability, I pray for dreams about her.  Last night, God gave me one. Here’s what I remember:

Our family was at a party – no, a carnival.  There were kiddie rides, food booths and street performers and the smell of cotton candy permeated the cool, late afternoon air.  In the dream, I knew that she died, that she was allowed a few hours with us and that at the close of the carnival, she would be heading back to heaven.  We walked together, once again, as a family.  We talked, played some games and ate hotdogs smothered in mustard.

Makenzie’s snorty laugh rang in my ears as she skipped and told jokes with my son Nathan and my younger daughter Maddie.  I took her hand and we strolled together past a juggler.  She was fascinated  by the performer’s finesse.  I remember sitting down with her on a bench and asking her questions.  “What is heaven like?”  “What do you remember at and immediately after the accident?”  “Does Jesus play guitar?”  (I don’t know why I asked that but I did).  She simply smiled and snuggled deep into my chest as she used to.

My last vivid memory of the dream was our family, once again, walking through the carnival toward the exit that led to an open field.  Makenzie grabbed Maddie’s hand and the two of them skipped ahead, made a circle and jumped around like two tea-party little girls playing “Ring around the Rosie.”

It was beautiful.  It was lovingly simple and complete.  Yet, the dream seared.  I didn’t want her to go back.  I woke up this morning with the feeling of desperation that I haven’t felt since June, July and August of 2009.

So there it is, oh ye interpreters of dreams.  A look into my sad madness and a walk through the carnival of my dream.

Peace,

Biblical Relationships Toward Changing the World

Have you ever wondered how to have more of an impact in the world?  Have you desired to pour your life into others and make a difference?  Have you wanted your life to count but didn’t know where to start?  The way Jesus designed His team of disciples is a great model of relational impact.  Think of three circles like a target.

The smallest, inner circle consisted of Jesus’ closest disciples – Peter, James and John.  They were the three with whom Jesus seemingly spent the most time.

The next were the twelve disciples.  They were the closest witnesses of what Jesus said, did and taught.  They were the leaders into which Jesus poured His ministry.

The outer circle was a larger following.  Scholars say this group was somewhere 70 to 120.  Others say even larger but for the sake of our application, let’s say 120. Through them, He taught humanity how to love, respect, set priorities and tell the message that He was the Savior of the world.

Think about that.  Through 120 people – which isn’t very many – Jesus changed the world.

Application:

1. Ask “Other than my immediate family, who are three people into whom I can pour my life?”  Write their names down and pray for opportunities to take them out for coffee.
2. Ask “Which group of 12 people can I impact simply through my presence?”  It may be a small group at church.  It may be a bible study or life study group you teach.
3. Ask “How can I get involved in my church or community in such a way that I can have an affect on 120 people or more?”  It may be leading a community event or being on a team that helps serve in someway.

You’d be surprise at how God can use your willingness to impact others.  Remember:

God doesn’t want your ability so much as He wants your availability.

Peace